The Secret of Great Love

Two of our bffs got married recently – a very Brighton wedding, ceremony in the Pavilion and party in the Sealife Centre. They asked me to write something to read after the vows. This is what I came up with…

Great love grows together, learns lessons it never knew it needed. It doesn’t happen when you want it, but instead, creeps in like sleep – slowly and then all at once.

Great love travels as two parallels, complimenting each other, enjoying the presence of another but ultimately, standing alone. Great love does not seek to control.

The secret of great love is laughter.

It is teamwork through sleepless nights and disobedient kids; holding each other up in the kitchen, pouring coffee and mixing milk. Great love sees the essence of another when they are at their very worst. It pushes hair off sweaty foreheads, pours baths filled with bubbles – it is felt in the smallest acts of kindness through the dark times. It is the laughter that plumps out the edges.

Great love is snotty noses and farting in bed. It changes every day, weaving in and out of the mundane, forming structure again and again. Great love harmonizes, never attempts to drown out or silence. Occasionally it screams in safe spaces. Great love forgives.

And in those dark times, when the walls drop away and all that is left is a great expanse of air, great love is silently there. It is the thread that keeps you spinning but stops the fall. It isn’t the brightest star in the sky. It won’t sweep you off your feet. It will hold your wrinkled hand and walk with you slowly down the beach.

The secret of great love is laughter.

Great love responds. It seeks passion in small spaces. Private glaces and jokes that make no sense to those around. Making an effort once in a while, despite the tiredness and the busyness and the plethora of excuses that could be found – great love goes on dates.

Great love tells silly jokes and secrets that will go no further.

It grows old disgracefully, dances in the kitchen and waltzes down the street. It loves without expectation, and when asked the reason why, it is the small things, the habits most would pass on by, that form its fabric. It is a crazy, colourful pattern, not always easy. It is vulnerable, delicate, strong – exactly how it should be. Deliciously complex.

And the whole while. Through it all. During the inevitable rise and fall. Great love is laughing.

 

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